Thankful

It is a time for long and thorough reflection

Of the gifts comprising my endless collection

I see value in the things that go most unnoticed

Like the presence of all the people I hold closest

 

Such things are bestowed not faintly or lightly

These are things we should hold onto most tightly

We must recognize the treasures we are freely given

That they may all be passed along as if in tradition

 

So I take this time to show my undying gratitude

For the hardships that have assembled my attitude

Every step that I have taken and steadfastly earned

Taught me lessons I otherwise couldn’t have learned

 

I have been cracked with life’s whip and felt its cold sting

Been witness to atrocities and the suffering they bring

Survived all these misfortunes of coincidence and fate

I wound up right here not a minute too soon or too late

 

I have battled many a demon from so far down below

Unaware until now that you reap exactly what you sow

I have seen the bloodshed and draw only one conclusion

Inner peace arrives via brutal battles in wars of attrition

 

Know that I am ever thankful for the absolute darkness

That allows a solitary ray of light to shine its brightest

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Untouched

Where am I?

Who turned out the lights?

Once again I sit alone in darkness

Unsure of all that seems real when the sun shines

I am so familiar with the absence of light

It was my custodian through trying times

My benevolent protector when my reality burned

Scalded by the flames of self inflicted radiation

 Shadows kept me safe from poisonous predators

The light has gone away once more

As I am enveloped by the inner calm of blackness

 

 

I see you there with a hand outstretched

Enticing me, testing my will as you do

Beckoning me to trust in your touch

Reassuring me with the promise of tranquility

The warmth of day awaits if only I take your hand

Sounds of laughter will only be replaced by a cacophony

A dissonance born of unimaginable self loathing

This I know as certainly as I know the darkness is tangible

 

 

So coax me if you must, as that is your purpose

It will only make this warriors armor stronger

To be constantly reminded of the battlefields of old

Keep on with the promises of eternal light and warmth

For I see all too well the dangers inherent within the glow

Reach forever outward to grasp control of my livelihood

As it will now and evermore be denied with steadfast resolve

I have come to know one thing above all in the company of shadows

 

 

It is far better to feel my way through the darkness with uncertainty

Than to be touched again by the perilous mistakes of a past in the light

Brainstorm

Look to the horizon

To see what’s on my mind

A tempest always brewing

Ideas like locusts swarm

Among synaptic waves

High pressure front

Bringing dark clouds

And the promise

Of heavy rain

 

 

Dark side of the moon

Fills many a night sky

As the light cannot be seen

Through a thick smoky cloud

While a dead calm envelops

The thoughts of a madman

Written in a diary

And kept under

Lock and key

 

 

Purple haze has been gone

Far too long to recall

The peace it once brought

Replaced by frenetic energy

That brings on lightning

While thunder rolls

From front to back

As lucidity is executed

By electrocution

 

 

To capture lightning

Inside a whiskey bottle

Wasn’t the brightest idea

As such energy stored

Will surely strike twice

Deadlier than before

With cunning, ruthless intent

And with nothing to stop it

From finding ground

 

 

So now as yet another storm passes

Leaving its destruction as a toll

I am left to pick up the pieces

So that I can start once again

To forge another fortress

Standing in command of all evil

That dares to infiltrate

This revived temple

Of creative control

Skies Burn

Skies burn wildly and with great purpose

Perhaps to set fire to an idle imagination

 

A mind filled with great burdens gets heavy

As a lifetime of hardships takes its toll

Stunning how a gift of second chance restores

What seemed so entirely and carelessly cast away

Weak moments followed by self inflicted failures

Can be seen as stepping stones to self only now

 

Places I have been and trials I have endured

Have only brought me to this stunning view

I find within myself the strength to share

This knowledge I have so harshly obtained

So as not to be found again by the innocents

Under the now watchful eye of my heart

 

Imagination awakened by an eclipse of the sun

Words as my weapons in a fight for our lives

I stand proud, strong and always at the ready

To wield my newfound power of protection

Over adversaries of mind numbing aggression

All falling victim to prides merciless onslaught

 

An idle imagination no longer of any concern

As purpose has been restored while wild skies burn

The Rock

Standing alone on this ancient hallowed ground

I’ve watched the tides and absorbed the rain

I have been the calm and steady presence

Strength and inspiration to those in dire pain

 

Steady as she goes, and nothing seems amiss

Not visible is the landslide building from below

Sturdy in appearance could all be stark illusion

As monuments position shifts from its plateau

 

Years of holding strong in times of dark despair

Surface made of granite hides unstable ground

Centuries old inhabitant of home along this cliff

Could begin to crumble into sea without a sound

 

I am lifted up to rightful place upon my mountain steep

By ones who sought my wisdom for so very many years

Circumstances table has been turned toward my favor

Hearts I held so steady here to save me from my fears

 

This rock upon the bluff now returned to its proper home

Continues in it’s vigilance with new knowledge to impart

The strongest surface can be compromised from within

So keep those you love close and always in your heart

 

 

 

Warrior Phoenix

These eyes have seen, and this body has felt

Many years of adversities and obstacles

Trials and tribulations.

I have stepped much too close to the edge

Played with fire, burned badly by the flame

Been left weary and weak

Tried and tested, pushed and proven

Rocked and rolled, left for dead

To see light of day again

My self my opposition, a worthy adversary

To you I can only find these words to say

Listen closely and take heed

 

Go ahead

Knock me down

I will get up

 

Keep on

Knock me down again

Again I will get up 

 

Persist

Push me over yet again

Once more I stand

 

Be strong

Drive me down hard

I lift myself smiling

 

That all you got?

Send me reeling this time

Joy accompanies my ascent

 

Throw me over

Painful reminders of long ago

Pride sees me up one more time

 

Grind me into the dirt

Weakened I continue to stand

Stand and fight for my life

 

No longer can you make me fall

I watch your expression;  surprise

Laughing, I rise one last time

 

I rise like the Mighty Phoenix

As you, my Demons, realize

That you are truly FUCKED

 

I am a warrior, and will rise

Repeatedly from the ashes

To soar high above you once again

Celestial Sentinel

  I wake once more to the light of a new day. As I shake off the cobwebs left by another peaceful night’s slumber, I have no choice but to smile. I am by myself in my quiet morning world, but by no means am I alone. My companion this day and all days prior is all around me and within my very soul. With each new day of courageous perseverance and clarity of the mind, she gains a stronger hold on my security, sanity, and peace of mind.

  Times have not always been this relaxed and carefree however. My life’s journey thus far has had great triumphs, but has also been plagued with very dark and disturbing travels through worlds of hurt and despair. Whether self inflicted or brought by the hands of others I have felt true anguish.  This wretched affliction is not abolished from my current reality now, but merely lies dormant waiting for my divine protector to lose her grasp on my safety in a momentary lapse of concentration.

  This ethereal energy that surrounds me and keeps me sheltered from the bombardment of temptation and the trickery of tragedy is unwavering in her vigilance. It must surely be an exhausting task to look after someone such as myself. Most certainly my past indiscretions, the playing of dangerous games, and my countless dances with the DEVIL have left her battle weary and burdened.

  This day my heart is rich and my spirit is light, but I must always be mindful of the fact that the dark realities of my compulsions, addictions, and deadly desires lie in wait to be the ruination of my very soul. My Guardian Angel protects me, but I must also lessen her strain by acknowledging my weaknesses and taking avoidance of the most obvious perils that remain to see me fall again. This much I owe to the one who keeps guard of my remaining sanity and protects me from myself.

  The depths of gratitude I feel for this unseen entity are immense and immeasurable. The debt I owe I can never repay. For without the divine intervention of my devoted defender, I most assuredly would have encountered a fate worse than death.

  I am happy today and my thoughts turn to hope. The hope that I will be accompanied by this true warrior spirit for the rest of my days. I want to feel her watchful eyes upon me until my proper time has come and I am peacefully carried off to the kingdom of light and love.